Owens story

Owen Ten :) Our son was a miracle from the beginning. I was not supposed to have children due to a heart condition I was born with. At 20 years old I started trying anyway knowing it would really be my only chance. My boyfriend and I got pregnant right away unfortunately we lost the baby before 12 weeks a very hard hit. We then decided months later that we would try again, the fear of losing another baby consumed me. When I found out I was pregnant again I tried hard not tell anyone this time I didn't want to go through the pain of having to tell people "we lost the baby" not again, it was just too hard. So I kept quiet and told only my mom and sister. After the first trimester past and everything was going well I started to tell our wonderful secret to anyone who would listen! I had to see a specialist because my pregnancy was the highest of high risk... to us this just meant more appointments and tons of pictures of baby. We were in the doctors office once a week checking on baby or me it seemed never ending. At 27 weeks I went in for yet another ultrasound, Owen was itty bitty and had slowed on his growth chart. I was admitted on bed rest in the hospital, I was placed on the mother baby unit but had to bounce between cardiac unit and baby...this went on for 42 days :( I had to cancel my baby showers yes two one for friends and one for family. I spent valentines day in a hospital room and so on. Owen was still not doing well and they thought it would be better to go ahead with a c-section at 34 weeks exactly I was prepped for surgery I had to be prepped for both Open heart (just in case) and a c-section, The prep took 2.5 hours while the c-section itself took 4 minutes. I was put under and had a breathing tube so I didn't witness the birth of my own child which still to this day hurts! No one else was in the room with me either not the proud papa or grandma...just me and 25 doctors and nurses. When I woke up I was in a lot of pain gagging on the breathing tube and crying because my stomach felt like it had been torn open...which it had! Every muscle in my body hurt but All I could think about was Owen and where he was and how he was doing his weight and height I wanted the stats! My wonderful boyfriend came is as soon as he could with pictures of our little angel. Owen was in the NICU getting taken care of by some of the best nurses around. Owen weighed 3lbs 14oz and was only 16in long he was a mini :) he looked just like his daddy :) He had some breathing complications in the beginning but pulled through that quickly His heart unlike his mamas was perfect! I couldn't have been more happy and full of pride and joy. I had to wait 2 days before I was strong enough to get down to the NICU and meet my beautiful boy face to face. It was an extremely emotional moment one I will never forget. He opened his eyes and looked right at me his little cry was just as small as he was. I couldn't believe how much I could love someone I just met, He was perfect. Owen had a hard time eating and was in the NICU for 32 days gaining weight and strength enough to come home with us. I spent every day all day at the hospital with Owen holding him feeding and changing him watching my little miracle grow and change daily! The day we could finally bring him home was wonderful! We had been waiting and waiting and the time had finally come our precious boy was home! 5lbs 4oz he was still swimming in preemie cloths :) He was still struggling with eating and needed to be pushed to eat 2oz every 3 hours this was and still is our life a year later...He eats more food at once but still eats every 3 hours during the day and sleeps 9-12 hours a night (we got very lucky with a wonderful sleeper) At 1year old Owen is still only in the 25% and only weighs 18 lbs but is hitting his milestones and is just a blessing. We wouldn't change anything in the end our boy is a fighter just like his mama :)

Dinner went well

So We had Kendra, Kammi and Curtis over tonight to play and eat dinner. It was wonderful now that Kammi is getting a little bigger she can really play and its very cute. I enjoy our play dates once a week it nice to get to talk to someone other then Owen or Jesse.
I did horrible on my diet today :( I am at 2664 calories for the day :( pizza for dinner was a no no but I did it anyways. I am supposed to stay around 1200 calories for a day... I ate two days worth of food today:( I need to think smarter and remember I am doing this for Owen and for Jesse and for myself I want to be healthy and be able to run and play with my son!
On another not my niece shaved her eyebrows :( she was trying to shave the uni-brow she thought she had going and just went too far :( I feel so bad for her I know the pain and anxiety she must be feeling and it just breaks my heart. I am praying she goes to school tomorrow ( if her mom makes her) with a big smile and a silly story to go along with her new look... She needs to get to it before her classmates do. I hope my little angel gets through it okay!
I'm going now to get a quick work out in before bed.

Weight Loss Goals.

As of tonight I have signed up with the calorie counter its an online thing that really helps keep track of what you eat and how you work out and when. I am very excited about it! I think it will work nicely not too much not too little.
I am starting a 12 week weight loss plan. I am shooting for a 16 pound loss in that time but I would love to gain some muscle and some endorence! I am a little nervous to start, I hope I can stay away from the fatty foods that I love oh so much!
Tomorrow I start my first work out, Cardio for 21 min, I think I'll go on a walk with my doggie and maybe my boys then some strength and flexibility work for about 15 minutes. Nothing too hard for the first day we'll see how hard it gets.
As of today I weigh 131lbs I am hoping to lose the weight by the first on July... camping/hiking weather :) plus swimming yikes! I hope that everything goes well and I can really get into this plan. Fingers crossed on the blood cultures for endocarditis that were done today...Please come back negative for any infection I want to get started on my new lease on life :)

The Park

Jesse and I have been trying to get out and do something with Owen every day. The last couple days it has been the Park, At first Owen didn't really dig it, But today he was such a sweetie pie! He was smiling and laughing he loves the slide and the swing as long as the suns not in his eyes. He is just too funny with his big toothie smile. While at the park he fell and bit his lip :( He cried for maybe a minute and was totally over it and wanted to go down the slide again, He is one tough cookie! He is napping now while I'm on the computer and Jesse plays video games. I am hoping to go to star bucks and grab a mocha and play some cards.
I am not looking forward to Jesse going back to work next week I wish he could just stay home with Owen and I and we could just play and have fun...but still make money. Speaking of money Jesse and I are cutting it close this month! We have both posted on craigslist trying to get an odd job here or there but nothing yet :( I guess Jesse should get some shifts in at the restaurant then we might be able to afford having more fun!
Owen started walking last week but still hasn't really taken off, he will take like 5-10 steps and then sit down... I can't wait for him to run I think it will be so cute :) Tomorrow Kendra, Curtis and Kamryn are coming over with pizza for dinner, It should be fun and we always enjoy letting the kids play together. She is the only friend I have that understands what being a mom is all about, Well I have a few but I have known Kendra for so long we know almost everything about each other which makes it easier to hang out.
I feel like I am just rambling on and on about nothing, but this is my life, going to the park and star bucks waiting for Owen to need me in some way and being here for Jesse when he needs/wants me, My life is simple and I like It that way! Stress is a thing of the past...hopefully!

To blog... or not to blog

I am not sure I have anything interesting to say however I know that I love to tell anyone I can get to listen about My little man and how hes doing and what he started doing now! So I think I'll try this for awhile see what I think... Its like a virtual girlfriend I guess I'll just spill my guts about anything and everything and you'll (those of you reading)will read and enjoy hopefully. I'm off to video tape Jesse and his first vlog, Its about cooking! Yay more yummy food to eat.